road trip

hmmm... now no mood blog yet... maybe later... after i pack my bag...
----later at 3Am----
hmmm.. finally all packed and ready to go... all thats left is my laptop... shall keep it after i finish typing this post..

getting ready for this trip is starting to remind me of KL trip... all the times we had... all the fun... nothing to distract us... no pressure no worries.... it was a true getaway... no one to trouble us with anything... handphone was just a tool for waking up...seeing each others for 4 whole days... crazy time(or should i say sleeping time) on the train and bus... i would always remember the KL trip... guess it is impossible for me not to think of u when ever i am taking a train.. those time are precious memories to me...
it was on this trip when i realised that i am not over you. i have never truely let u go and i still have feelings for you. and these feelings came back harder and stronger than ever.
i have this image/scenario in my mind.it came to me while i was daydreaming. it was there since last year, when i first fell in love with you. it resurfaced recently, while i was working at adidas and they were playing chrismas songs. the songs reminded me of the hopes and feelings that i have for you. the dream went like this:
we are walking down orchard road dhoby ghaut den Vivocity,hand in hand, looking at the festive lighting, celebrating chrismas together.it was in the afternoon.we were having a great time together.before splitting ways i gave you your chrismas present and my first kiss, telling you that i love you,and den off you went to your chrismas parties and me to work feeling full and loved...
but from your actions, i know that its close to impossible for it to happen in reality. it feels as though all my efforts were in vain. the furthest all the messages i sent you reached is your phone. tell me, were you ever touched by all those efforts? but den again, i didnt do much, did i? all i did was to irritate you with the persistent msging and disturbing you from studying. my bad. i have no experience you know.
i never wanted anything for my birthday and chrismas since the day i found out *. asking for something felt childish and greedy to me. all the wishes i made were for my families and friends to stay happy and healthy.
i never wanted something so badly that i would wish for it. if i want it i would work for it. but this time, Santa, if you can hear me, hear my sincere prayer. all i want for my birthday and chrismas is simple. so simple that it is impossible for anyone else to do it.
guess you know what i really want but i also understand it cant be forced. so Santa, hear me, all i want for chrismas is for her to be happy. as simple as that. i want to be the one to bring her happiness but the decision is still up to her.
let me try again after the MST. i wanna touch you emotionally, wan to be the one for you, wan to be the one in your love story/daydream. but this time, i hope u can try too, give me a chance, dun avoid me if i ask you out. it take two hands to clap... you wouldn't know if you didnt try...

see you when i come back:)

Impossibility?

ok... met up with some secondary school frens just now to celebrate STEPHANIE KHOO birthday...had a great time with them... did some heart-to-heart talk with some of them too... moments of truth??? heard somethings that i dun really wanna hear... but these are the truth so yea truth hurts i guess... maybe i should really consider korea??? damn!!! is it really that bad???

is it really impossible for a guy to use sincerity to touch a gal's heart??? wont a gal give the guy a chance to treat her right, a chance to show her love??? does such thing happen in korea, taiwan and japan drama only??? is THAT special feeling the only thing that is a factor, the only thing that matters, the only thing that is important??? hope not...

I am not sure my messages will reach ur heart
I am not sure whether you are irritated with all my messages
I am not sure my actions would touch you
I am not sure that one day you'll be touched
I am not sure whether you are gonna give me a chance or you just trying to be nice
I am not sure whether you are trying to convey something to me via your actions
but, but, but
I am sure that i am not confused
I am sure that i need you
I am sure of my determination,
to tear down those wall
to treat you right
to protect you
to try my best to nvr let u cry.

represent

i am having mood swings. and she just like to come and make things worse dont she. maybe she didnt see my previous post or she decided to test my patience. why cant u freaking do anything urself. ur fren helped u previously rite? ask him help again lar.
ok. im being harsh here. my bad. mood swing and u always choose the wrong time.

hmmm. wonder u reached home le anot.
using songs to represent me
things that i wanna tell u: 妳是我的寶貝/数到五答应我- 曹格/ fall for you-secondhand serenade/ i love you-joanna wang
how i feel now: 沿海公路的出口-S.H.E
wat i hope to see: 简单爱-jay chou

still waiting, always waiting
i guess i am becoming a bit irritating??? lols


everybody is studying hard except for me???
damn!!!!

erms

WAO... just back from MMSP08/09... haha.. first of all.. congrats to jess wong xue ying for winning Ms. Body Beautiful and Ms. Congeniality (did i spell it rite?)... whoo!!! even thought u didnt become Ms Singapore Polytechnic 08/09, u were the biggest winner with two titles!!! haha... blame daryl for saying u were no.3... got curse le thats why u got 2nd runner-up... lols... hey... i am super close to losing my voice from cheering for u, jess.... u own me.. lols... joking... anyway, ur 3 wish answer should have WORLD PEACE... liddat confirm win de.... wasted..



well... i dun wanna sound rude or anything but can u stop turning to me for every single freaking thing that happen... sorry if i sound *****(fill in urself) but i have got enough things going thru my head at the moment and i dun need u to make things worse for me... in a direct and simple way of saying, which i used it very often in the past: dun make ur problem into my problem. i'vr got enough problem so dun make my problem worse.... maybe in the past i could help but now im really not in the mood... sorry...


i cant focus on studying for MST... next week is nearly impossible for me to study with all the work and the trip... damn... bad habit of mine... should really get rid of it... always letting such things affect me... and always during the exams periods... shouldnt i be numb to this kind of prob since i get rejected all the time...


hmmm...
hope i am not disturbing u with all the msgs....
that was nvr my intention...
i wonder wats ur take?
really that bad ma?
have to do this ma?
still waiting
aint giving up that easily
determined : I
and take care ok?
dun let urself fall sick.

I

i send messages hoping to brighten up your day, to bring a smile to your face when you are tired and stressed over studies, to send u to sleep knowing that someone cares for u.
hopefully, my messages reaches your heart not just your phone.
i don't mind waiting.
for you or your msgs
after the exams OK?
good luck and 加油 for the exams!!!
:)
i know its a bit confusing but now im super clear ok?


supposed to blog abt my tarots reading but hehs. shall do it another day(if i can still remember).
anyways, its quite fun and worth a try.( guess wat i ask abt ;D)
a sneak preview
i've got the cards:
past - death
present- the chariot
future- temperance