road trip

hmmm... now no mood blog yet... maybe later... after i pack my bag...
----later at 3Am----
hmmm.. finally all packed and ready to go... all thats left is my laptop... shall keep it after i finish typing this post..

getting ready for this trip is starting to remind me of KL trip... all the times we had... all the fun... nothing to distract us... no pressure no worries.... it was a true getaway... no one to trouble us with anything... handphone was just a tool for waking up...seeing each others for 4 whole days... crazy time(or should i say sleeping time) on the train and bus... i would always remember the KL trip... guess it is impossible for me not to think of u when ever i am taking a train.. those time are precious memories to me...
it was on this trip when i realised that i am not over you. i have never truely let u go and i still have feelings for you. and these feelings came back harder and stronger than ever.
i have this image/scenario in my mind.it came to me while i was daydreaming. it was there since last year, when i first fell in love with you. it resurfaced recently, while i was working at adidas and they were playing chrismas songs. the songs reminded me of the hopes and feelings that i have for you. the dream went like this:
we are walking down orchard road dhoby ghaut den Vivocity,hand in hand, looking at the festive lighting, celebrating chrismas together.it was in the afternoon.we were having a great time together.before splitting ways i gave you your chrismas present and my first kiss, telling you that i love you,and den off you went to your chrismas parties and me to work feeling full and loved...
but from your actions, i know that its close to impossible for it to happen in reality. it feels as though all my efforts were in vain. the furthest all the messages i sent you reached is your phone. tell me, were you ever touched by all those efforts? but den again, i didnt do much, did i? all i did was to irritate you with the persistent msging and disturbing you from studying. my bad. i have no experience you know.
i never wanted anything for my birthday and chrismas since the day i found out *. asking for something felt childish and greedy to me. all the wishes i made were for my families and friends to stay happy and healthy.
i never wanted something so badly that i would wish for it. if i want it i would work for it. but this time, Santa, if you can hear me, hear my sincere prayer. all i want for my birthday and chrismas is simple. so simple that it is impossible for anyone else to do it.
guess you know what i really want but i also understand it cant be forced. so Santa, hear me, all i want for chrismas is for her to be happy. as simple as that. i want to be the one to bring her happiness but the decision is still up to her.
let me try again after the MST. i wanna touch you emotionally, wan to be the one for you, wan to be the one in your love story/daydream. but this time, i hope u can try too, give me a chance, dun avoid me if i ask you out. it take two hands to clap... you wouldn't know if you didnt try...

see you when i come back:)